I have a friend who consistently makes me feel terrible. She decides to be nice to me some days and mean to me other days, she has gossiped about me many times, and she always puts me in really uncomfortable situations. She knows I'm not friends with a girl that she is friends with and will talk about her behind her back to me every day, even though I've told her it makes me uncomfortable. I can't step away from this toxic friend because she has too much social influence and would just get everyone to say mean things about me again, but I feel paranoid and hated whenever I come to school because I'm always worried she's decided to be mean to me today. I can't even talk to her about it because she absolutely terrifies me at this point. I don't know what to do or who to go to... please help?
Find someone in your life who you trust to talk about this situation. Tell a parent, teacher, advisor, coach, or close friend or relative. This girl is a bully, and you should not have to endure her toxicity any longer. It sounds as if your fear of her is ruining your experience at school, so try not to give her that power. One way to step away from this friendship is to stop hanging out with her, and try to avoid her. This is a subtle way to stop being around her without drawing attention to your discomfort with being around her.
I have a “friend” who is really toxic to be around. She is horrible to people behind their back and only wants to talk about dating people. She assumes a lot about my past that makes me uncomfortable. I would feel horrible to just ditch her, but I am miserable when I am around her. What do I do?
It important for you to learn your boundaries and to analyze the aspects of your life that are causing unhappiness. If this “friend” is making you feel so terrible, it would be best if you cut her out of your life. It is difficult and scary to cut someone out, but this is an important step in advocating for your health and happiness. You do not need to dramatically end your relationship, but you should be direct with her so that you do not lead her on. Try your best to be honest with her about your feelings, and say that it is really hard for you to spend time with her. When talking to her, try to make it about how she makes you feel, rather than about how she is as a person.