Even at this age, I have bills to pay. My parents don't cover the costs for many things, and I was expected to get a job to pay for my sports, car, and leisurely activities. At the same time, my homework load is massive, and I am very busy between sports, school, work, my family, and friends. How do I find a balance?
-Broke and Sleepy
Dear Broke and Sleepy,
Try to schedule your time to make everything fit in. Set time limits for how long you want to spend on each activity. However, if you find that everything is getting to be too much, you need to prioritize. There are times when you will need to say no, whether that is to sports or to hanging out with friends. Make a list of the things that the absolutely need to do and the things that you may not like as much. Sometimes, you need to turn down a request to do something in order to get some rest. Think about the long term. Set a realistic goal and try to reach it. Talk to the people in your life who you can count on. There is no shame in asking for help, whether it is from a friend, parent, or teacher.
I think that my boyfriend of ten months is cheating on my with my best friend. When we were together, he left his phone on the table and a text popped up on his phone, saying “what’s up?” I didn’t think much of it but then I asked him to hang out later and he was busy. So I asked my friend if we could hang out, but she said she was busy. From this I am concluding that they were hanging out together. Also, one time I saw them walking around the neighborhood together. What should I do?
Right now, you are just speculating. You have no concrete evidence, and it seems as if you are searching for evidence to support your conclusion. If your boyfriend and best friend are your true friends, you should feel comfortable talking to them. Talk to them each in private, making it clear that this is just a feeling that you have rather than something you actually believe. Also, it is important that you work on figuring out the root of your suspicions. Your evidence by itself is not highly convincing; is there something in your relationships that you are not fully comfortable with, making you suspect betrayal? Remember, even if your friends are being honest with you, you do not need to continue these relationships. It is never healthy to feel paranoid about a relationship, so this could be a sign that you need to end things and move on.
It’s my first year at Lincoln and I want to get to know my classmates a little better, but my dance classes take up so much time and I never have any time to have anyone over. I love dance, and I want to join the company I dance for when I get older, but I also want to have friends that are not just outside of school. What should I do?
Dear Busy Dancer,
There are many ways for you to fit what you want to do in to your schedule. If you want to have a social life while still working hard at dance, you need to try to find time to fit it in. Take a look at your schedule, and see if you can find areas that you are spending more time in than you want to be. Cutting back on the amount of time it takes for many activities will open up more time for you to do what you want to. Also, try to find time in school to hang out with your friends and bond with them. Maybe you can hang out with friends on the weekend after dance. Be flexible about the idea of change, and try not to get to stuck into a routine that will make you afraid of change.